Writing Assignment Three
Dan Feuerbach
English 354
4-13-2006
Writing Assignment Three
In everybody’s life the phrase “take it with a grain of salt” has been heard. Typically this phrase means a person shouldn’t take something too seriously. This cliché can be applied to anybody from the preachers at the union to the author of this paper. However, this phrase applies more appropriately to the literacy involved in understanding the black-and-white, out-of-this-world themes that make up the Weekly World News.
The Weekly World News invites its readers to have fun. It doesn’t want them to worry about the world. Images of the supernatural and religion abound in this paper, asking the reader to calm down for a while and feel safe. This safety may also be the problem with the paper. The paper tries to get the reader to enter a magical land of leprechauns and resurrected politicians. Even though the advice columns of the paper emphasize taking responsibility, these parts are overwhelmingly outnumbered by the ads that want readers to solve their problems with a single phone call, get rich, and live happily ever after.
Founded in 1979, the Weekly World News is a tabloid printed like a newspaper. The cover proudly bears the phrase “The World’s Only Reliable Newspaper.” The paper is notorious for its fake stories and faker photographs. Until 2004 this paper didn’t carry any kind of notice that the stories aren’t real. However, the disclaimer on page one emphasizing the fun nature of the paper is hard to identify. I bought the paper three times before I noticed it.
Each week the newspaper tells tales about aliens, angels, Bigfoot, and demons. Each issue features clever puns for headlines and the paper has weekly columnists as well as a classified section.
The Weekly World News, or WWN, is mainly a source of entertainment. When a person picks up this paper, he or she needs to remember that this is something that is designed to be laughed at. A person of even meager intelligence can see from the very cover of the paper that it couldn’t possibly be serious. However, just in case there are people in the world who don’t quite understand this fact, the WWN does have a disclaimer on the first page that says: “The reader should suspend belief for the sake of entertainment.” This is what it means to be literate in WWN. The paper never set out to be a serious vehicle of information.
However, some people haven’t quite mastered WWN literacy. The ads in the paper and the childish nature of some of the articles seem to point to a target audience of below-average intelligence. Although there are several levels beyond the initial story of any given article in the paper, the ads carry a common theme of getting rich quick and simple solutions to complex problems.
Location
The first thing about this paper that needs to be considered is where someone can find it. As of yet I have never seen it anywhere except grocery stores. It is usually put in the tabloid section along with The National Enquirer and Soap Opera Digest. It is usually toward the bottom. Although not the most purchased item in any given store, it still has an underground following that keeps sales up just enough for another issue to come out.
It is placed at the bottom of the rack because tabloids are stocked according to how well they sell. There is little, if any, demand for the WWN in Lincoln. As a result it is constantly buried under headlines about Brittney’s Pregnancy and Christina’s Butt Going Flat! It’s still there and people do buy it though. I personally discovered it while I was bored in line for food one day. I saw a witty headline and purchased it.
Nationally, though, there is a greater demand for this paper. I have not seen a grocery store in the area ever sold out of the WWN but it has been around for almost thirty years so there must be some demand for it. People who purchase the paper aren’t main stream consumers. Its following is based on people with strange senses of humor or extreme gullibility.
Features
Each week a new issue of the Weekly World News arrives in stores. The old school charm of the black-and-white covers almost lulls readers into a sense of trust. The throw back to the old days of journalism is a poor cover however. Once readers see the headline all trust in truth is gone, but trust for entertainment emerges.
“G.O.P. To Resurrect Reagan for ’08!” the large black letters claim. Underneath, in smaller type the phrase “you can’t keep a good man down” appears. A large photo of the former president is underneath it all. If a person looks at the photo, there is something wrong. There is a photo of the former president, but his face has been altered, a picture of a zombie face has taken over Reagan’s picture.
Upon flipping to the article promised, one finds a two-hundred word story by Scott Stevens. The article doesn’t say too much more than the headline. It expands upon the topic briefly. However, upon closer inspection, one can see that there is more than one level to this seemingly fictitious account.
A note of satire is expressed in the story. A fictitious Democratic strategist named Andrew Spitz is quoted in the story. He nervously explains how his party won’t stand a chance during the next election if this happens. Further down, the article quotes an anonymous Republican strategist who explains that this is a last ditch effort by Republicans to unite a fracturing party.
Democrats are portrayed as fearing a zombie presidential candidate. Republicans are seen as so disjointed they have to resort to the dead to keep their power. The idea is so ridiculous, but at the same time reflects trends within both parties. Democrats have no platform and aren’t quite sure what to do next or what issues to address, some say, while the Republican Party is becoming more fragmented each year. This article takes these accusations and spins a yarn around it that makes both sides look foolish.
Each week the WWN displays something along these lines. From the time-traveling dog of the future who warns humans his species will take over because people are too dependant on technology to the Outhouse Effect that is taking place due to increasing levels of garbage, political, social, and environmental satire abound.
One problem with the featured articles in the paper is the bias it has toward itself. Often times during a story a cheap pop will come up for people to buy the paper. In the time-traveling canine story, Major Rick Mason is quoted as saying “…he asked for you specifically…you’re the world’s only reliable newspaper.” However, a person who is literate in the WWN will forgive this whorish self promotion because at the end is a great pun: “…until we get some cooperation from (the time-traveling canine) that mutt is in the ‘doghouse.’”
Weekly Sections
Each issue of the Weekly World News has recurring sections. There are advice columns, reader’s letters, and a facts section, among other things. These sections aren’t the only weekly columns but they paint a fuller picture of part of the message of the paper.
Although the articles are entertaining and can be satirical, the advice columns feature solid ideas about how to live. The reader’s section is a jab at the people who aren’t WWN literate and the facts section is a distinct break from the bogus stories contained in the rest of the paper.
What do a chimp, a horse, and a backwater hick all have in common? They give advice for the Weekly World News. A chimp named “Sammy” gives financial advice in his section Monkey Business, a horse named “Lester” answers health questions in Horse Sense and Dolly, “the country’s boldest advice columnist,” doles out wisdom in her section Hi, Dolly!
“Sammy” didn’t like the jungle, so he left. He opened his own exotic pet store and made a fortune. Now he gives financial advice for the WWN. An odd premise to say the least, however, this alleged monkey says some smart things. In one issue a reader asks “Sammy” if he should go on vacation even though an aggressive co-worker wants his job. Sammy advises the reader to take the vacation. Arguing if he doesn’t the reader won’t appear confident to his boss and the aggressive co-worker will know the reader is scared. This good advice is then followed up by a comparison to the story of how “Sammy” became the leader of his tribe if monkeys by being confident and picking bananas in the face of lions.
Horse Sense takes a similar approach to a different topic. Each week “Lester” fields questions about human health. According to the paper, “Lester” was once a sideshow horse who made a living typing in front of crowds. After getting through medical school he became “the world’s leading wellness expert.”
Like “Sammy” he takes serious questions and gives truthful answers. In one issue he is asked if diet soda is better than regular. He replies that it is just as bad. Either way there is a high amount of acid in both, Lester writes, and the best move for the reader would be to drink water. Again, like “Sammy,” he follows up with a comparison to the animal kingdom: “…as a horse who loves pure water I never understood how you could stand all those bubbles.”
The final advice column is Dolly. She takes an abrasive, yet honest, approach to advice. When she finds out about readers’ problems, she always suggests confronting the issued head-on and not waiting around. She takes on relationships, sex, drugs, and violence in each column. For each problem she extols the virtues of being assertive. The column is written in a dialect similar to a middle-aged country woman would talk, using phrases like “coon’s age” and “toots.”
In one issue a wife calls upon Dolly for guidance. She is a middle-aged married woman who found her husband in bed with a prostitute. The woman’s husband is begging to come back in and she is unsure of what to do. Dolly comes to the rescue. Dolly tells the reader that she needs to ask herself “does she really love her husband?” If so then the reader will have to sit down and have a conversation with him to find out why he did it and if he picked up any diseases. She stresses that the reader may also need to change if the marriage is to function normally again.
Despite the cartoon-ish venire, all three of these advice sections have valuable things to say, if taken with a grain of salt. A person who is literate in the Weekly World News can see past the cartoonish venire to see the insight underneath. “Sammy” stresses that the business world requires confidence. Lester stresses the human body needs proper diet and exercise to remain healthy and Dolly demands people stand up for themselves, take responsibility for their actions and not get pushed around. If more people were to pay attention to the messages these three have to offer the world might be a better place.
Editors need to have fun too, and the men and women who put the WWN together have found a good way to jab at people who are illiterate in their publication. Each week in the Sound Off section letters from readers around the nation are displayed. These letters typically feature people who didn’t quite get the point of past articles expressing their dismay, shock, horror or confusion about past stories. After sending an email to the paper, the editor assured me the letters are real.
One letter from a Toby Braman of South Dakota is filled with rage. In a previous issue an alien named “Bobb” was exposed by the WWN as a prisoner of the government. The alien was hidden from the public for sixty years. Mr. Braman thought that was inappropriate. His letter chastises the government for keeping him prisoner. He accuses the military of being cowardly for detaining “Bobb” and argues that if the alien is released he will reward humans with “a cancer vaccine or something.”
Mr. Braman shows the horrifyingly funny effects of not taking the magazine with a grain of salt. The article was just a piece of fiction and nothing else. Mr. Braman failed to realize that and decided to make his ignorance known. His angry letter was printed for the entire fan base of the WWN to laugh at him for not getting the joke. Perhaps Mr. Braman needed to look closer at the issue and see the warning label.
The last weekly section worth noting is the trivia section. This is a complete break from everything else inside the paper. Although everything else is comical and figments of the editors’ and writers’ imaginations, the trivia section is the only part that is filled with truly factual information, which I triangulated with several websites like www.triviaworld.com and www.fintrivia.com.
The section isn’t anything earth-shattering. It isn’t hardcore journalism but it does have some mildly interesting facts about a variety of topics. For examples, the paper informs readers that The Flintstones were the first married TV couple to share a bed and that Charlie Chaplin once took third place in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. It is filled with random tidbits like these that make this section of the paper interesting.
This is the only section of the paper that doesn’t need to be considered false. Every trivia fact is true. This section does not need to be taken with a grain of salt. Not a lot about this paper is truly informative but the Trivia section stands alone as the one source of “news” in the entire “newspaper.” However, these facts are not particularly valuable so they still fall under the general category of “entertainment.”
Advertisements
A Weekly World News literate needs to be really good at the grain-of -salt-taking game. Everything about this newspaper needs to be considered as entertainment. The light-hearted nature of this publication has a darker side to it. The classified and advertisement sections point to an audience of dunces. Although the WWN literate can see through the façade presented by these advertisers, the illiterate, such as Mr. Braman, could potentially waste a lot of hard earned money.
Upon opening the Ads Mania page, a theme is easily noticed among the ads. Nearly all of them offer quick fixes for relationship problems from psychics, get-rich-quick schemes, offers for fast loans and sex chat lines.
The psychic hotline section blatantly contradicts Dolly’s message. Each ad promises to solve all problems, reunite lovers and eliminate confusion. Each ad claims that for one low price all of person’s problems will disappear and the world will be beautiful. These ads invoke mysteries of spirituality. Some advertisers claim to be witches, shamans and druids. One particularly asinine ad says “Mother Cherokee! Indian Healer! Solves Impossible!”
Psychic hotlines aren’t just mentioned on the ads page. Randomly throughout the paper are ads for more professional psychics. One page features nine different hotline ads featuring similar motifs. Most of the ads picture the psychic, most of whom are female, smiling in a motherly fashion. All the hair is primped and prepped and plastic looking. Every single ad promises love, most money and half show a price. Oddly, they all carry the same price, two dollars and seventy-nine cents per minute.
Do you earn eight-hundred dollars a day? You could. All you have to do is get ten-thousand dollars and give it to an unnamed man on the other end of a nine-hundred number. Then you can enter the glamorous world of stocking candy machines for a living. The ad promises unholy amounts of money, but further research indicated that if you fail to pay off the business who supplies you with the candy and vending machines your house is theirs.
Almost immediately next to the advertisement to get rich is an advertisement for payday advances. A person who calls the number can get up to a thousand dollars in advances, but the fees are so much that if the client fails to make the payment, he follows the same path as anyone who failed with the vending machines.
Another advertisement featured is the “mind control seminar.” On a full page of the paper, a photo of a bad man pointing his finger at the reader assures this is legit, after all, it’s “as seen on TV.” The bold black letter declare that just by giving Marc Salem your money and you can make anybody do anything just by thinking it. His widened eyes and thick, yet trim, beard seem to reassure that he wouldn’t lie. After all, the ad proclaims, Mr. Salem is a master of the human mind.
The conclusion these ads lead me to draw is that this paper is targeted to poorly educated, lower-class individuals. Advertisers aim for a demographic and then post their ads where the typical person will look for them. Only somebody with little formal education and poor critical reading skills would voluntarily give money to psychics like Kenny Kingston
The Weekly World News can be fun. To those literate in the publication it is filled with great puns, satire, and poor photo-shop jobs that can bring a smile to anybody. In addition to the playful nature of the majority of the magazine there is great advice on health, business and living from off-beat characters with fun trivia to astound friends. To the literate of this paper, each week is a new exercise in creativity. However to the WWN illiterate there are traps that maybe tempting, but are ultimately futile. The promises of money, quick fixes, and mind-control, if not taken with a grain of salt, can drain bank accounts and ruin credit. However, if a person has a mildly active brain, the WWN should not pose a threat at all.
English 354
4-13-2006
Writing Assignment Three
In everybody’s life the phrase “take it with a grain of salt” has been heard. Typically this phrase means a person shouldn’t take something too seriously. This cliché can be applied to anybody from the preachers at the union to the author of this paper. However, this phrase applies more appropriately to the literacy involved in understanding the black-and-white, out-of-this-world themes that make up the Weekly World News.
The Weekly World News invites its readers to have fun. It doesn’t want them to worry about the world. Images of the supernatural and religion abound in this paper, asking the reader to calm down for a while and feel safe. This safety may also be the problem with the paper. The paper tries to get the reader to enter a magical land of leprechauns and resurrected politicians. Even though the advice columns of the paper emphasize taking responsibility, these parts are overwhelmingly outnumbered by the ads that want readers to solve their problems with a single phone call, get rich, and live happily ever after.
Founded in 1979, the Weekly World News is a tabloid printed like a newspaper. The cover proudly bears the phrase “The World’s Only Reliable Newspaper.” The paper is notorious for its fake stories and faker photographs. Until 2004 this paper didn’t carry any kind of notice that the stories aren’t real. However, the disclaimer on page one emphasizing the fun nature of the paper is hard to identify. I bought the paper three times before I noticed it.
Each week the newspaper tells tales about aliens, angels, Bigfoot, and demons. Each issue features clever puns for headlines and the paper has weekly columnists as well as a classified section.
The Weekly World News, or WWN, is mainly a source of entertainment. When a person picks up this paper, he or she needs to remember that this is something that is designed to be laughed at. A person of even meager intelligence can see from the very cover of the paper that it couldn’t possibly be serious. However, just in case there are people in the world who don’t quite understand this fact, the WWN does have a disclaimer on the first page that says: “The reader should suspend belief for the sake of entertainment.” This is what it means to be literate in WWN. The paper never set out to be a serious vehicle of information.
However, some people haven’t quite mastered WWN literacy. The ads in the paper and the childish nature of some of the articles seem to point to a target audience of below-average intelligence. Although there are several levels beyond the initial story of any given article in the paper, the ads carry a common theme of getting rich quick and simple solutions to complex problems.
Location
The first thing about this paper that needs to be considered is where someone can find it. As of yet I have never seen it anywhere except grocery stores. It is usually put in the tabloid section along with The National Enquirer and Soap Opera Digest. It is usually toward the bottom. Although not the most purchased item in any given store, it still has an underground following that keeps sales up just enough for another issue to come out.
It is placed at the bottom of the rack because tabloids are stocked according to how well they sell. There is little, if any, demand for the WWN in Lincoln. As a result it is constantly buried under headlines about Brittney’s Pregnancy and Christina’s Butt Going Flat! It’s still there and people do buy it though. I personally discovered it while I was bored in line for food one day. I saw a witty headline and purchased it.
Nationally, though, there is a greater demand for this paper. I have not seen a grocery store in the area ever sold out of the WWN but it has been around for almost thirty years so there must be some demand for it. People who purchase the paper aren’t main stream consumers. Its following is based on people with strange senses of humor or extreme gullibility.
Features
Each week a new issue of the Weekly World News arrives in stores. The old school charm of the black-and-white covers almost lulls readers into a sense of trust. The throw back to the old days of journalism is a poor cover however. Once readers see the headline all trust in truth is gone, but trust for entertainment emerges.
“G.O.P. To Resurrect Reagan for ’08!” the large black letters claim. Underneath, in smaller type the phrase “you can’t keep a good man down” appears. A large photo of the former president is underneath it all. If a person looks at the photo, there is something wrong. There is a photo of the former president, but his face has been altered, a picture of a zombie face has taken over Reagan’s picture.
Upon flipping to the article promised, one finds a two-hundred word story by Scott Stevens. The article doesn’t say too much more than the headline. It expands upon the topic briefly. However, upon closer inspection, one can see that there is more than one level to this seemingly fictitious account.
A note of satire is expressed in the story. A fictitious Democratic strategist named Andrew Spitz is quoted in the story. He nervously explains how his party won’t stand a chance during the next election if this happens. Further down, the article quotes an anonymous Republican strategist who explains that this is a last ditch effort by Republicans to unite a fracturing party.
Democrats are portrayed as fearing a zombie presidential candidate. Republicans are seen as so disjointed they have to resort to the dead to keep their power. The idea is so ridiculous, but at the same time reflects trends within both parties. Democrats have no platform and aren’t quite sure what to do next or what issues to address, some say, while the Republican Party is becoming more fragmented each year. This article takes these accusations and spins a yarn around it that makes both sides look foolish.
Each week the WWN displays something along these lines. From the time-traveling dog of the future who warns humans his species will take over because people are too dependant on technology to the Outhouse Effect that is taking place due to increasing levels of garbage, political, social, and environmental satire abound.
One problem with the featured articles in the paper is the bias it has toward itself. Often times during a story a cheap pop will come up for people to buy the paper. In the time-traveling canine story, Major Rick Mason is quoted as saying “…he asked for you specifically…you’re the world’s only reliable newspaper.” However, a person who is literate in the WWN will forgive this whorish self promotion because at the end is a great pun: “…until we get some cooperation from (the time-traveling canine) that mutt is in the ‘doghouse.’”
Weekly Sections
Each issue of the Weekly World News has recurring sections. There are advice columns, reader’s letters, and a facts section, among other things. These sections aren’t the only weekly columns but they paint a fuller picture of part of the message of the paper.
Although the articles are entertaining and can be satirical, the advice columns feature solid ideas about how to live. The reader’s section is a jab at the people who aren’t WWN literate and the facts section is a distinct break from the bogus stories contained in the rest of the paper.
What do a chimp, a horse, and a backwater hick all have in common? They give advice for the Weekly World News. A chimp named “Sammy” gives financial advice in his section Monkey Business, a horse named “Lester” answers health questions in Horse Sense and Dolly, “the country’s boldest advice columnist,” doles out wisdom in her section Hi, Dolly!
“Sammy” didn’t like the jungle, so he left. He opened his own exotic pet store and made a fortune. Now he gives financial advice for the WWN. An odd premise to say the least, however, this alleged monkey says some smart things. In one issue a reader asks “Sammy” if he should go on vacation even though an aggressive co-worker wants his job. Sammy advises the reader to take the vacation. Arguing if he doesn’t the reader won’t appear confident to his boss and the aggressive co-worker will know the reader is scared. This good advice is then followed up by a comparison to the story of how “Sammy” became the leader of his tribe if monkeys by being confident and picking bananas in the face of lions.
Horse Sense takes a similar approach to a different topic. Each week “Lester” fields questions about human health. According to the paper, “Lester” was once a sideshow horse who made a living typing in front of crowds. After getting through medical school he became “the world’s leading wellness expert.”
Like “Sammy” he takes serious questions and gives truthful answers. In one issue he is asked if diet soda is better than regular. He replies that it is just as bad. Either way there is a high amount of acid in both, Lester writes, and the best move for the reader would be to drink water. Again, like “Sammy,” he follows up with a comparison to the animal kingdom: “…as a horse who loves pure water I never understood how you could stand all those bubbles.”
The final advice column is Dolly. She takes an abrasive, yet honest, approach to advice. When she finds out about readers’ problems, she always suggests confronting the issued head-on and not waiting around. She takes on relationships, sex, drugs, and violence in each column. For each problem she extols the virtues of being assertive. The column is written in a dialect similar to a middle-aged country woman would talk, using phrases like “coon’s age” and “toots.”
In one issue a wife calls upon Dolly for guidance. She is a middle-aged married woman who found her husband in bed with a prostitute. The woman’s husband is begging to come back in and she is unsure of what to do. Dolly comes to the rescue. Dolly tells the reader that she needs to ask herself “does she really love her husband?” If so then the reader will have to sit down and have a conversation with him to find out why he did it and if he picked up any diseases. She stresses that the reader may also need to change if the marriage is to function normally again.
Despite the cartoon-ish venire, all three of these advice sections have valuable things to say, if taken with a grain of salt. A person who is literate in the Weekly World News can see past the cartoonish venire to see the insight underneath. “Sammy” stresses that the business world requires confidence. Lester stresses the human body needs proper diet and exercise to remain healthy and Dolly demands people stand up for themselves, take responsibility for their actions and not get pushed around. If more people were to pay attention to the messages these three have to offer the world might be a better place.
Editors need to have fun too, and the men and women who put the WWN together have found a good way to jab at people who are illiterate in their publication. Each week in the Sound Off section letters from readers around the nation are displayed. These letters typically feature people who didn’t quite get the point of past articles expressing their dismay, shock, horror or confusion about past stories. After sending an email to the paper, the editor assured me the letters are real.
One letter from a Toby Braman of South Dakota is filled with rage. In a previous issue an alien named “Bobb” was exposed by the WWN as a prisoner of the government. The alien was hidden from the public for sixty years. Mr. Braman thought that was inappropriate. His letter chastises the government for keeping him prisoner. He accuses the military of being cowardly for detaining “Bobb” and argues that if the alien is released he will reward humans with “a cancer vaccine or something.”
Mr. Braman shows the horrifyingly funny effects of not taking the magazine with a grain of salt. The article was just a piece of fiction and nothing else. Mr. Braman failed to realize that and decided to make his ignorance known. His angry letter was printed for the entire fan base of the WWN to laugh at him for not getting the joke. Perhaps Mr. Braman needed to look closer at the issue and see the warning label.
The last weekly section worth noting is the trivia section. This is a complete break from everything else inside the paper. Although everything else is comical and figments of the editors’ and writers’ imaginations, the trivia section is the only part that is filled with truly factual information, which I triangulated with several websites like www.triviaworld.com and www.fintrivia.com.
The section isn’t anything earth-shattering. It isn’t hardcore journalism but it does have some mildly interesting facts about a variety of topics. For examples, the paper informs readers that The Flintstones were the first married TV couple to share a bed and that Charlie Chaplin once took third place in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. It is filled with random tidbits like these that make this section of the paper interesting.
This is the only section of the paper that doesn’t need to be considered false. Every trivia fact is true. This section does not need to be taken with a grain of salt. Not a lot about this paper is truly informative but the Trivia section stands alone as the one source of “news” in the entire “newspaper.” However, these facts are not particularly valuable so they still fall under the general category of “entertainment.”
Advertisements
A Weekly World News literate needs to be really good at the grain-of -salt-taking game. Everything about this newspaper needs to be considered as entertainment. The light-hearted nature of this publication has a darker side to it. The classified and advertisement sections point to an audience of dunces. Although the WWN literate can see through the façade presented by these advertisers, the illiterate, such as Mr. Braman, could potentially waste a lot of hard earned money.
Upon opening the Ads Mania page, a theme is easily noticed among the ads. Nearly all of them offer quick fixes for relationship problems from psychics, get-rich-quick schemes, offers for fast loans and sex chat lines.
The psychic hotline section blatantly contradicts Dolly’s message. Each ad promises to solve all problems, reunite lovers and eliminate confusion. Each ad claims that for one low price all of person’s problems will disappear and the world will be beautiful. These ads invoke mysteries of spirituality. Some advertisers claim to be witches, shamans and druids. One particularly asinine ad says “Mother Cherokee! Indian Healer! Solves Impossible!”
Psychic hotlines aren’t just mentioned on the ads page. Randomly throughout the paper are ads for more professional psychics. One page features nine different hotline ads featuring similar motifs. Most of the ads picture the psychic, most of whom are female, smiling in a motherly fashion. All the hair is primped and prepped and plastic looking. Every single ad promises love, most money and half show a price. Oddly, they all carry the same price, two dollars and seventy-nine cents per minute.
Do you earn eight-hundred dollars a day? You could. All you have to do is get ten-thousand dollars and give it to an unnamed man on the other end of a nine-hundred number. Then you can enter the glamorous world of stocking candy machines for a living. The ad promises unholy amounts of money, but further research indicated that if you fail to pay off the business who supplies you with the candy and vending machines your house is theirs.
Almost immediately next to the advertisement to get rich is an advertisement for payday advances. A person who calls the number can get up to a thousand dollars in advances, but the fees are so much that if the client fails to make the payment, he follows the same path as anyone who failed with the vending machines.
Another advertisement featured is the “mind control seminar.” On a full page of the paper, a photo of a bad man pointing his finger at the reader assures this is legit, after all, it’s “as seen on TV.” The bold black letter declare that just by giving Marc Salem your money and you can make anybody do anything just by thinking it. His widened eyes and thick, yet trim, beard seem to reassure that he wouldn’t lie. After all, the ad proclaims, Mr. Salem is a master of the human mind.
The conclusion these ads lead me to draw is that this paper is targeted to poorly educated, lower-class individuals. Advertisers aim for a demographic and then post their ads where the typical person will look for them. Only somebody with little formal education and poor critical reading skills would voluntarily give money to psychics like Kenny Kingston
The Weekly World News can be fun. To those literate in the publication it is filled with great puns, satire, and poor photo-shop jobs that can bring a smile to anybody. In addition to the playful nature of the majority of the magazine there is great advice on health, business and living from off-beat characters with fun trivia to astound friends. To the literate of this paper, each week is a new exercise in creativity. However to the WWN illiterate there are traps that maybe tempting, but are ultimately futile. The promises of money, quick fixes, and mind-control, if not taken with a grain of salt, can drain bank accounts and ruin credit. However, if a person has a mildly active brain, the WWN should not pose a threat at all.
posted by Dan at 12:57 AM
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